Calling All Single Ladies: Dating in the world of #MeToo•
Posted on April 15 2018
- Be proactive. At TDR, we’ve always believed that women should be proactive in landing a first date, and this is true now more than ever. If you are interested in someone, you shouldn’t hesitate to initiate first. Men are generally flattered when a woman makes the first move, and are actually telling us that they are more cautious and nervous to make a move these days because they don't want to overstep boundaries. When women initiate and show interest (in person & online), they essentially give guys the green light to feel more comfortable pursuing without wondering if they’re being presumptuous or inappropriate. After the woman assists in landing a first date, she can go back to being traditional -- chivalry is NOT dead!
- Give people the benefit of the doubt. When communicating online or via text, remember not everything is as it seems. Try not to mistake an awkward message for harassment. I’ve seen so many examples of men trying to open a dialogue on a dating app with a slightly off-color or even risque line. Before blowing the guy off and alerting the app’s administrators, take a second and think about whether the awkward and risque line could be taken out of context. The majority of people online are looking for relationships, and I think it’s helpful to keep that in mind. It’s easy to forget, on both sides, that regardless of the screen in the middle of you two, the person on the other side is a human being who is (hopefully) just trying to find connection. If it’s questionable and seems harmless, perhaps give him the benefit of the doubt. It’s a fine line, but don’t go looking for a reason to call him out or make him uncomfortable if it’s not warranted - it’s only going to perpetuate the cycle.
- Speak up. On the flip side, though, we’ve certainly run into some dating site trolls who are just blatantly in the wrong, and there are, of course, men whose behavior is just plain bad. Don’t settle for this and always stand up to inappropriate behavior and quickly exit any situation that is making you uncomfortable. If you’re on a date, address the behavior and explain why it’s not okay. If you’re communicating online, it is absolutely okay to block this person or if you feel it’s necessary, to report them. In the #MeToo world of dating, we are our own best advocates.
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