Comment vs Source•
Posted on April 02 2018
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<h4>They can cut like a knife or elicit a smile in a nanosecond. It is interesting how we use them and how they make us feel. So here at Good Girl Mafia, I’d like to share with you a very important disctinction: take a second and consider the source of a comment.</h4>
I have always loved being in front of a camera. There is a sense of freedom because it comes so naturally that I find the words just flow. And so, I have found it has left me a little obsessed with words. Old words, new words, assembling words, crafting a message, telling a story -- it is equal parts skill and art. You cannot spend your entire adult life on television and not be acutely aware of how your words affect others.
The flip side is that when you work on television, audiences and the people around you take unusual license and say whatever they’re thinking about you, seemingly unfiltered. It can render a person a total slave to the opinions of others or one becomes completely impervious to it. Over the years, I definitely leaned towards the latter.
I have learned to consider the source first, then take into account the comment. I once received a hand-written letter from a viewer saying that I was an alien brought from outer space by the CIA to take over the minds of our youth. So obviously crazy it was easy to laugh off.
It’s when people say nastier things to your face that are little harder to put into perceptive.
There was this one woman I interviewed several times, who I was repeatedly told was “nuts.” I actually thought she was pretty nice and we got along well. I will never forget the day I was walking down the hallway of a TV studio after a long day of shooting, singing Miguel and Mariah Carey’s “Beautiful.”
Suddenly, I heard someone behind me say, “Beautiful and happy? Bitch!”
I remember thinking to myself, “Stay out of it! Keep walking! Don’t turn around, it’s none of your business!”
Again, I heard the same woman say, “So you’re beautiful and happy? You’re such a bitch!”
This time I turned around, and it was definitely meant for me. This woman proceeded to comment on my “shiny hair, legs, peppy personality,” and once again, she called me a “bitch” to my face.
I didn’t always get it right and keep my composure. I am human and some things bothered me and sometimes it showed. But I saved myself a ton of grief when I considered the source and asked, “Do I really care what that person has to say?” It takes practice but it’s well worth it.
It’s interesting when you’re the talent on set; you still have to be the bigger person and play nice. And so that’s exactly what I did. And I was able to do it genuinely because I considered the source. Here’s a woman who was calling me a bitch for being happy. Yes, she had other reasons, but that was the one thing that stood out to me. Anyone who would say anything like that just isn’t my kind of person, so why should I let it bother me?
Spending virtually my entire adult life on TV hasn’t left me totally impervious to the opinions of others. Let’s face it, I’m human too. But after years of some truly bizarre comments from viewers and downright weird face-to-face exchanges on set, it has prepared me to not respond.
<h4>So the next time someone says something bothersome to you, take a cure from the Good Girl Mafia: forget the comment and consider the source.</h4>