Comparison: Good or Bad?

“Never compare yourself with anyone else.”

It is one of those ubiquitous rules that are widely accepted. But is it always so bad?

We are going to break some rules here at Good Girl Mafia. It all depends on where you are at any given time. If in doubt, do a gut check. How does it make you feel? Motivated or jealous? If the comparison makes you feel motivated, that’s a great sign you’re in the correct lane. You see that other person as a source of inspiration. You feel good when you see them achieving personal or professional success and it underscores your belief that you, too, will make your goals a reality. Notice I said “goals” and not “dreams”. Dreams are often these huge, lofty ideas that seem almost impossible to achieve. If you’re a woman who is feeling inspired, chances are you’ve gone from dreaming to implementing via a series of achievable goals. So feeling motivated by another woman who is clearly killing it is a good thing. In this case, comparison is a net-positive. If comparing yourself to another woman makes you feel jealous, sad, or otherwise just down on yourself, you cannot waist another moment in trying figure out why. I bet the moment you read the previous sentence, you already knew the answer. Whether you find yourself in an unfulfilling relationship, job, or struggling with another all-consuming issue, it usually is the source of jealousy. And it’s not about the jealousy at all. It’s about the spotlight the other person shines on the deep sadness within that you feel each time something makes you aware of it. It’s amazing how adept we are at going along to get along. And then, boom! You see someone who is living the exact life you think you should be living and it cuts like a knife. Core values are the fundamental beliefs that act as the guiding principles that inform all that you do. Here are a few questions to ask yourself to help identify why you feel jealous and not motivated.

• Why and what exactly about the other person made me feel bad?
• What are my core values?
• What small steps can I take today to start living in accordance with my core values?How can I temporarily limit exposure to that which makes me feel bad?
• Who do I know that can be a positive influence?

On the surface, these questions may seem too simple. But if you can be brutally honest with yourself, you can use a moment of jealousy as a catalyst to personal development.

In the end, it’s not about the act of comparison. It is the reaction to the comparison that matters.

Use it to motivate you.