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It's an Inside Job

Written by Diana Perkovic

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Posted on March 19 2018

I have been told my entire life that I am a perfectionist and way too hard on myself.  What's your story?

You know when you have those days where you feel like you’re flat out failing at the game of life? You want someone to listen to you vent about your failures for however long it takes and then they’re supposed to say the exact right words that get you magically motivated once more? When most people around you think you’re already too hard on yourself, I find that I don’t get the hard-kick-in-the-pants that I really need. If you’re just 'having one of those days' and you're looking for someone to say the 'magic words', look no further than your mirror. That’s the Good Girl Mafia way. Here’s an easy step-by-step guide developed and perfected by yours truly to get and stay motivated, by your own standards.
  • Accept Failure: I don’t believe we can really get on with it until we marinate in it. Give yourself a specific amount of time to say, “I suck!”, “I will never…”, “I can’t….” Yes. I do suck! I can’t do it! I will never finish this task, whatever it is! I am failing! Stay with it for a minute and it actually becomes laughable! I give myself no more than a half-hour and I never last that long. Logic kicks in before you know it and you become acutely aware of how capable you truly are.
  • Change of Scenery: Once I’m laughing, I get out! Nothing brings me back to my mental best than a Pilates class. It requires tremendous mental acuity. I really can’t afford not to stay focused and in my body because it’s so challenging. Don’t know what your ‘Pilates class’ is? Go for a walk, take a drive, or head out for a coffee. Whatever you do, don’t call your bestie who will want to make you feel better. That’s not what we’re after.
  • Talk to Yourself: Why call your mother and expect her to know the secret words to get you back up? If she can’t figure out the secret, you’ll just hang up and have something else to gripe about. Go to the bathroom. Close the door. Stand in front of the mirror and say the magic words to yourself. Only you know what those words are, so use them. Learn to rely on yourself.
  • List: Make a list of the things you really need to accomplish in order to feel free again. For me, it’s always the minutia. Call the cable company. That’s an hour of my time right there. Deal with the insurance company. That could be another hour. Make that appointment at the bank. You get the picture. Clear the deck of all the minutia and you clear all of the monkeys off your back. You will feel lighter and instantly more creative and happy!
  • A Personal Elevator Pitch: Don’t forget to remind yourself of all of the amazing things you are accomplishing. How far you’ve come. How great you really are. Create a succinct elevator pitch about yourself that you commit to memory. Then you can repeat it to yourself whenever you need it!
Keep this Good Girl Mafia guide in mind: Sometimes it’s a matter of selling yourself to yourself.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

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